Every now and again, I have a recurring dream. I am, once again, in the company of an ex-girlfriend. We’ve not met since we were both teenagers but, in the dream at least, the years have been kind. Our conversation and laughter flows in much the same way as it did when we were dating. We’re older now and the arguments that were always a feature of our real time together have diminished in this dreamland.
Sometimes, we kiss. Mostly, my alarm wakes me just as we’re making plans to see each other again. “Let’s not leave it so long until we next catch up”, she says with that infectious giggle she seems to never have lost.
As ridiculous as it might seem, this recurring dream derails me. I’ve got no desire to find out what has happened in the life of this ex. But, I find myself overwhelmed with a sense of loss; for a short while, I’m an awkward teenager again. Life, with all of its uncertainties and anxieties, is spanning out in front of me. I’m clinging to a child-like romantic ideal. I’m refusing to allow myself to grow up.
This long preamble does have a purpose. Last week, Nozart sent me the video to his new song, ‘Orphanage’. I’m a sucker for delightfully romantic, sentimental gush, especially when it’s all wrapped up in a story-based song. This ticks all of those boxes. The beautifully animated video just adds to the sense of ‘awww’.
Nozart is from New York. He’s currently playing piano on tour with a chap we have featured regularly on Sonic Breakfast, Elliot Moss. I hope that they’re having fun. ‘Orphanage’ is taken from a yet-to-be released album that Nozart has been working on for the past two years.
He says about ‘Orphanage’ that “this is a story about being in love before you know how. It’s about losing that love too soon and being afraid to grow up, because you don’t want to grow up without it. It’s about holding on even when the person you loved might not be the same person at all.”
For me, it evokes much the same feeling as that recurring dream.